Wow. What a perfect opportunity to put our civic optimism on full display. Yep, turns out Mayor O'Connor needs our help: It is time to rename downtown Pittsburgh. From a Post-Gazette story about new developments in the Fifth-Forbes corridor:
Mr. O'Connor said he's still in the process of chosing a new name for the Fifth-Forbes corridor, and has started calling it "Fifth-Market or Diamond Market."
Diamond Market? Come on. Let's have some fun. How about:
1. PNC Playground: The Place for $50 Million in Subsidies for a Wildy Profitable Banking Corporation
2. New SkyBus
3. New Hill District (About that old one... Sorry.)
4. Revitalization that Works. Really. This Time It Will. Promise.
5. The Center of Highly Subsidized Granite Countertops
7. Pittsburgh, Only Without All those Non-Creative People
9. Civic Arena City. Wait, Lazarusville. No, Gateway Village. Er... Point State Something.
OK. I'm done. But really, in the name of simplicity, how about, I don't know... "Downtown." Works for me. Plus it would save on signage.
I suspect this is the least likely of my suggestions to make the cut. Doesn't cost enough.