Wow. What a perfect opportunity to put our civic optimism on full display. Yep, turns out Mayor O'Connor needs our help: It is time to rename downtown Pittsburgh. From a Post-Gazette story about new developments in the Fifth-Forbes corridor:
Mr. O'Connor said he's still in the process of chosing a new name for the Fifth-Forbes corridor, and has started calling it "Fifth-Market or Diamond Market."
Diamond Market? Come on. Let's have some fun. How about:
1. PNC Playground: The Place for $50 Million in Subsidies for a Wildy Profitable Banking Corporation
2. New SkyBus
3. New Hill District (About that old one... Sorry.)
4. Revitalization that Works. Really. This Time It Will. Promise.
5. The Center of Highly Subsidized Granite Countertops
7. Pittsburgh, Only Without All those Non-Creative People
8. Scheme-A-Lot
9. Civic Arena City. Wait, Lazarusville. No, Gateway Village. Er... Point State Something.
10. Dahntahn.
OK. I'm done. But really, in the name of simplicity, how about, I don't know... "Downtown." Works for me. Plus it would save on signage.
I suspect this is the least likely of my suggestions to make the cut. Doesn't cost enough.
When was "Fifth and Forbes" ever an official designation? I realize that Mayor Murphy called his plan "Marketplace at Fifth and Forbes" but only because those are the two main streets in question.
Once again, we are obsessed with image and perception, because it distracts us from the hard work of solving our real problems.
Posted by: Jonathan Potts | April 13, 2006 at 09:02 AM
Well said, Mr. Potts.
Posted by: Sam M | April 13, 2006 at 10:56 AM
Sisyphus' Stygian station?
Posted by: "O" | April 14, 2006 at 12:33 PM
Thinking again about names for downtown might include works along these themes:
Purple Belt
Golden Triangle
PAT Terminus
Urban Parking Garage
Isle of the Burgh
All-Star Village
Richer & Redded
Don Carter's second shot.
Posted by: Mark Rauterkus | April 14, 2006 at 04:29 PM
Yep. See how fun that can be? I even came up with a new game: Develop a slogan to go along with the neighborhood. Something like:
Pittsburgh: Soon to Be As Cool And Cosmopolitan as Columbus, Ohio.
Or...
Pittsburgh: Almost as Good As Hartford.
Or...
Pittsburgh: Just Like Everyewhere Else.
Or...
Pittsburgh: Why Not Fly in to Shop at All the Places You Already Shop at in Your Own Town?
Or...
Pittsburgh: Bravely Subsidizing Upper-Middle Class Lifestyles Since 1944
Or...
Well, you get the picture.
Posted by: Sam M | April 15, 2006 at 06:33 AM
Okay. I have a suggestions about this subject on my newly created blog at http://behindblueyes2.blogspot.com. I apologize for not knowing how to insert a live link.
Posted by: sean mcdaniel | April 15, 2006 at 07:54 PM
Okay, if you haven't made it to my blog to read my thoughts, I think we need to rename the entire city: here are my suggestions. for more see: http://behindblueyes2.blogspot.com
Riverside: We've Got Water on the Brain.
Little Apple: The City that Never Wakes Up.
Historyville: We Love Living in the Past.
Still City: We're So Not on the Move.
DaPointe: Yinz Jest Don't Get It.
Posted by: sean mcdaniel | April 16, 2006 at 09:51 AM
Sean,
First, congrats on the new blog.
Second, excellent idea. Why piddle around naming a neighborhood when you can rename the whole city. But I'll do you one better. The state?
Posted by: Sam M | April 16, 2006 at 12:11 PM
Naw, Sam, this is my town. I can barely relate to wait happens in the middle of our great commonwealth, let alone in the city of brotherly love. Anyway, the entire state is too different across the board. I prefer to make big changes closer to home.
Posted by: sean mcdaniel | April 16, 2006 at 01:43 PM